When I consider being married to such a precious woman (note I wrote precious and not perfect), a grin seems to appear on my face.
Let me explain: When listening to stories from other married couples it is clear that women are a special kind of their own…The easiest to love, yet the the most difficult… and I know that I am not alone in my thinking.
Will we men never completely understand our wives?
I thought I did – a good couple of times actually… but she consistently proved me wrong. However, this is all part of the wild and wonderful adventure of marriage for which I am so grateful and I have concluded that I was not meant to understand her but to love her.
This I can do!
I love my wife and I love to tell her that. It is very important to me that she knows just how much I love her. If my wife doesn’t feel the love I professed to her before and on our wedding day then what kind of a marriage am I cultivating? The very reason we got married was because we loved each other.
My goal is to be true to the promise I made to my wife on our wedding day. That is to love and cherish her for as long as we both shall live! Call me old school, but the truth is that I had found the partner that I wanted to spend my life with – the rest of my life…so I am quite content to give her my all, to openly pour out my heart to her and let her know it.
I don’t mind being totally honest with her. It creates such a freedom in our marriage.
She is my soul mate and to not be true to her is to not be true to myself. So who would I be kidding?
So in many instances I don’t mind being the first one to say “I’m sorry” – even when I am not at fault. For I’ve had to learn that to pursue an argument is to invite strife into our marriage. I’d rather answer gently and keep us in a state of steady communication.
This means more to me than lording authority that I might not even truly have, over her. (An argument often leads to destructive dialogue and in that moment authority can turn into abuse – verbal or physical. I prefer to take the lead and pursue peace while attempting to get my message across), and I have had the pleasure of eating the fruit of these sometimes faith-filled actions.
I have also learned that I cannot expect the same response from my emotion- filled wife (most wives are). The truth is that in the instance of heated disagreements I have to make a conscious decision not to be a destructive party to my own marriage. Having practiced this principle, my wife has sometimes suprised me by being the one to respond gently (we husbands are also not perfect). These times have always humbled me as it showed that she had been aware of my example.
This brings me to a next point:
Nothing makes me happier than her acknowledging me.
She is my wife and her opinion of me is always the highest in ranks of opinions to me simply because she knows me – with all my faults and shortcomings. (It’s sometimes easy to pull wool over peoples eyes but you can’t do this to your wife – she knows you man!)
Wives, we may not always show you, but your opinion always matters, so be gentle and wise when speaking to us. No husband wants to look “silly” especially in front of his wife and no wife should ever make her husband feel less than a man to another man (Wives please take note of this). We trust you as our wives.
What I want to achieve in my marriage is for Love to truly be the foundation of everything I do for my wife.
Husbands, I do believe that when we treat our wives the way we promised when we committed ourselves to her – with unrestrained love everyday which is what our wives need, they will automatically respond with the respect and honour that we need, ultimately leading to a very happy and fulfilled marriage and home.
It has been said that a woman who feels loved has no problem with submitting to her husband.
To conclude, husbands let’s make sure that we are continually cultivating an atmosphere of love that is patient and kind and not proud, boastful or rude – this I believe is the foundation of a prosperous, marriage.
This guest post was written by Marvin Maddocks. Marvin is the loving husband to Stacy and their three beautiful children.
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