Marriage, Parenting

FATHERS DAY: An example of a WISE Father & Husband

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I found this amazing simple story online that illustrates how a man with Wisdom can build his wife and can teach his children the importance of kindness.

Here it is:

My Mom always cooked delicious food. But one day she put a burnt pie in front of Dad. Not just a little burnt, but black as coal.I was interested in what Dad would say.

But he just ate the pie and asked me how my day was.
Then I heard mom apologise to him for his supper.

I’ll never forget his response

‘Darling I love your pie’

Later I asked him if he told the truth. He put his arm around my shoulder and said

‘The burnt pie didn’t harm me, but a sharp word could have hurt her. Your mom had a tough day at work, she was tired’

We all make mistakes. We shouldn’t focus on the mistakes but support those we love…!

I love this story as it shows how a kind word can change a situation. Imagine how different that moment would have been if the father responded differently. Instead he brought kindness and healing to his wife and demonstrated the importance of kindness and wisdom to his child.

To all our fathers who will be celebrating Father’s Day. Keep showing kindness to your wife and demonstrating the importance of it to your children.

Remember children copy what you do and not what you say.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY

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Taryn Leigh Armstrong

Marriage

Men and Women Think Differently About Love

Woman embracing her boyfriend

In addition to physiological differences, the sexes are blessed with a vast array of unique emotional characteristics. It is a wise and dedicated husband who desires to understand his wife’s psychological needs and then sets out to meet them.

The emotional differences between you and your partner will influence every aspect of your relationship. Your love life will be no exception.

Here are some differences:

  • Love is linked to self-esteem in women.
  • For a man, romantic experiences with his wife are warm and enjoyable and memorable–but not necessary. For a woman, they are her lifeblood.
  • Her confidence, her sexual response, and her zest for living are often directly related to those tender moments when she feels deeply loved and appreciated by her man. That is why flowers and candy and cards are more meaningful to her than to him. This is why she is continually trying to pull him away from the television set or the newspaper, and not vice versa. This is why the anniversary is critically important to her and why she never forgets it. That is why he had better not forget it!
  • Men also need to understand that women tend to care more than they about the home and everything in it. So if she asks you to help wash the dishes, its the inevitable care for the home that drives it.
  • What Men want most is tranquillity at home. Competition in the workplace today is so fierce, and the stresses of pleasing a boss and surviving professionally are so severe, that the home needs to be a haven to which a man can retreat. It is a smart woman who tries to make her home what her husband needs it to be. Of course, many women also work, and their husbands are not the only ones in need of tranquillity.

 

Some final thoughts

Men remember that your wife’s need for romantic love is not some quirk or peculiarity, as some husbands may think. This is the way God designed the human female, and the sooner men understand this, the better they will be equipped to increase the level of intimacy in their marriages.
Husbands and wives, remember that creating an environment at home to meet each others needs should be given priority.

Always choose sacrifice over selfishness, because if both men and woman choose to meet their partners needs, neither one will be lacking in anything.

Credit: Some contents herein were taking from Dr James Dobson’s blog

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Leigh

Marriage

Marriage: Back to Basics – Guest Post

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When I consider being married to such a precious woman (note I wrote precious and not perfect), a grin seems to appear on my face.

Let me explain: When listening to stories from other married couples it is clear that women are a special kind of their own…The easiest to love, yet the the most difficult… and I know that I am not alone in my thinking.

Will we men never completely understand our wives?

I thought I did – a good couple of times actually… but she consistently proved me wrong. However, this is all part of the wild and wonderful adventure of marriage for which I am so grateful and I have concluded that I was not meant to understand her but to love her.

This I can do!

I love my wife and I love to tell her that. It is very important to me that she knows just how much I love her. If my wife doesn’t feel the love I professed to her before and on our wedding day then what kind of a marriage am I cultivating? The very reason we got married was because we loved each other.

My goal is to be true to the promise I made to my wife on our wedding day. That is to love and cherish her for as long as we both shall live! Call me old school, but the truth is that I had found the partner that I wanted to spend my life with – the rest of my life…so I am quite content to give her my all, to openly pour out my heart to her and let her know it.

I don’t mind being totally honest with her. It creates such a freedom in our marriage.
She is my soul mate and to not be true to her is to not be true to myself. So who would I be kidding?

So in many instances I don’t mind being the first one to say “I’m sorry” – even when I am not at fault. For I’ve had to learn that to pursue an argument is to invite strife into our marriage. I’d rather answer gently and keep us in a state of steady communication.
This means more to me than lording authority that I might not even truly have, over her. (An argument often leads to destructive dialogue and in that moment authority can turn into abuse – verbal or physical. I prefer to take the lead and pursue peace while attempting to get my message across), and I have had the pleasure of eating the fruit of these sometimes faith-filled actions.

I have also learned that I cannot expect the same response from my emotion- filled wife (most wives are). The truth is that in the instance of heated disagreements I have to make a conscious decision not to be a destructive party to my own marriage. Having practiced this principle, my wife has sometimes suprised me by being the one to respond gently (we husbands are also not perfect). These times have always humbled me as it showed that she had been aware of my example.

This brings me to a next point:

Nothing makes me happier than her acknowledging me.
She is my wife and her opinion of me is always the highest in ranks of opinions to me simply because she knows me – with all my faults and shortcomings. (It’s sometimes easy to pull wool over peoples eyes but you can’t do this to your wife – she knows you man!)
Wives, we may not always show you, but your opinion always matters, so be gentle and wise when speaking to us. No husband wants to look “silly” especially in front of his wife and no wife should ever make her husband feel less than a man to another man (Wives please take note of this). We trust you as our wives.

What I want to achieve in my marriage is for Love to truly be the foundation of everything I do for my wife.
Husbands, I do believe that when we treat our wives the way we promised when we committed ourselves to her – with unrestrained love everyday which is what our wives need, they will automatically respond with the respect and honour that we need, ultimately leading to a very happy and fulfilled marriage and home.
It has been said that a woman who feels loved has no problem with submitting to her husband.

To conclude, husbands let’s make sure that we are continually cultivating an atmosphere of love that is patient and kind and not proud, boastful or rude – this I believe is the foundation of a prosperous, marriage.

This guest post was written by Marvin Maddocks. Marvin is the loving husband to Stacy and their three beautiful children.

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Marriage

MORE Ideas of things to do to celebrate HIS BIRTHDAY

So for those who are avidly following my blog, you would know in my last post I gave some ideas of things to do for your Husband / Boyfriends birthday. Those were more for the “adventure seeker.” This time I’ve got some ideas more for the “hopeless romantic.” Here they go …

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A Gourmet Picnic
A romantic picnic outdoors is the perfect way to spend a birthday with your loved one.
There are many places that create gourmet picnics for special occasions. In Gauteng one such place is Le Sel.
They have goodies traditionally found in picnic baskets beautifully laid out on tables under ancient bush willows within the nature reserve, complete with canvas chairs to sit on and ice buckets to keep drinks cold. Guests are transported to the picnic spot by open game vehicle, and served a three-course picnic menu.
http://thecradle.co.za/

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Intimate party in a wine cellar
If you are looking to have an intimate party for about 10 people, why not consider a restaurant that offers private dining in their Wine Cellar?
One such place is the Oyster Box hotel in Durban.  Their Wine Cellar, with its glass ceiling, is sunken just below the Oyster Bar and is a unique way to celebrate your loved ones birthday in a truly intimate setting.
Bespoke menus are created for every occasion and the resident Sommelier will present a selection of wines from the Diners Club Diamond award-winning wine list, which boasts the finest selection of South African and international vintages.
http://www.oysterboxhotel.com/food-and-drink/extraordinary-dining#Private

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Weekend Away
Why not plan a weekend away where you can celebrate your loved ones birthday for an entire weekend.
One place I love is called The Cavern.
The Cavern is set in a secluded valley beneath the massive sandstone cliffs of the Northern Drakensberg. The thatch accommodation and facilities blend beautifully with the natural surroundings of the area. The Cavern is home to numerous Bushman paintings, 213 species of birds, 73 species of trees and numerous wild animals. As a nature lover, this would be your ideal location.
They also have a Spa and all meals are included in the price of your stay. Each day new activities are on the list to keep you entertained. It’s an awesome way to make your significant other feel really special on their birthday.
http://www.cavern.co.za/

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Scenic Helicopter Ride
Why not try a helicopter ride to be different. Most cities in South Africa have companies that can take you on scenic helicopter rides. One such is Helivate in Gauteng. Here you get to take scenic flights and stop over at restaurants to have lunch before your flight back.
http://www.helivate.co.za/scenic.htm

Remember Sharing is Caring so please feel free to share this on facebook or twitter or with your friends and family. Thanks so much.

Marriage

Things to do for HIM on his BIRTHDAY

My Husband and I have spent our birthdays finding cool things to do all across South Africa. So I thought I would share with you some cool things you could do if you want an unforgettable birthday experience.

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Go for a race around the track
If you live in Gauteng you can take that special man in your life for a BMW or Mercedes Benz race around the track in one of their sports cars at Zwartkop. There are different priced packages to suit your pocket.
http://www.bmwdrivingexperience.co.za/
http://www.mercedes-amg.co.za/Mercedes-AMG-Driving-Academy/

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Go to a Spa retreat in the Drakensburg mountains
One of the best affordable Spa retreats in South Africa is called Indigo Fields. Tucked away in the Drakensburg you will be pampered and fed all day while being surrounded by the beauty of nature.
They currently have a midweek special R1550 per person sharing, includes lunch on arrival, a heavenly massage/treatment of choice, a romantic 3 course dinner, an overnight stay in one of our luxury suites and a country breakfast.
http://www.indigofields.co.za/

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Sandboarding and Sand Sledding
Test your boarding skills on some of South Africa’s best dunes set in stunning surroundings in Port Elizabeth and offering hours of fun for young and old!
http://www.sandboardingsundays.com/

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Shark Cage Diving
For all those adventurous types out there. View a variety of shark species in a Shark Cage Dive at uShaka Marine World in Durban
http://www.ushakamarineworld.co.za/animal-encounters/xpanda-shark-dive

Keep following my blog and I will continue with more ideas for HIM and soon some for HER birthdays.

Remember Sharing is Caring so please share this blog with your friends on Facebook and Twitter.

Marriage

Lessons to Husbands from a Wife

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So often in life we seem to hear the age old joke of how Husbands just can’t understand their wives. It seems they dated this perfect specimen who attended to all their needs and suddenly they get married and she turns into a nagging person who does nothing but speak in some foreign language they don’t understand with a constant jabbering.

So where does this disconnect come from? What happened after you said “I Do” that changed everything?

Well as a Wife, I would like to explain from a Woman’s perspective what I’ve learnt from my experience and from friends experiences.

You stopped studying her
Do you remember when you were dating? You would take her out on a date. Listen to her talk between mouthfuls of salad she might have insisted on eating. You listened. You studied her face. Her laugh. Her smile. This studying her consumed you. While she would be talking you would even interupt her to tell her “Your beautiful” … “I love your smile” … Guess what? You meant it when you said it. And she felt it when you said it. Let me tell you that when you study your wife and are attentive to her needs and compliment her from your soul, She feels that and responds to that … and let me tell you a secret… those moments are what leads her to want to have sex with you. You need to consistently study her again.

You stopped checking the atmosphere
Oh Men how HUGE this is. Let me take you back. Do you remember when you would go in for a first kiss with a girl? You would set the tone. Start by taking her on that first date. Pay attention to her. Compliment her for weeks. Send her romantic text messages. Then when you were with her and the moment was right … you would gently lean in and kiss her. Remember?  How did you know she would kiss you back? You knew because you had set the atmosphere for days and you checked that the moment was right! And when you kissed her the second time? You did the same thing! So what happened when you got married? You stopped setting the atmosphere and you stopped checking the atmosphere. Then you wonder why she won’t have sex with you? She wouldn’t have kissed you when you were dating if you behaved like you do when you married. When she has had a hard days work and is stressed and tired and you sitting watching TV. Then suddenly you go to bed and try approach her for sex? Or you don’t wash the dishes for months or buy her flowers for months. Then suddenly because you want sex you rubbing her feet, buying her flowers and doing the dishes? She sees right through those moves. Start setting the atmosphere like you did when you dated. And then check for the right moment to approach her. Trust me … she will never refuse you again.

You stopped making her laugh
Woman most times gravitate towards men who have the ability to make them laugh. It’s what attracts them to you. It’s how we fall in love. Yet somehow after a man gets married he stops looking for those moments to make his wife laugh. He gets so serious and weighed down that he stops trying to be her reason to smile. Husbands … you need to make your wife laugh again. Trust me your relationship won’t be as dull and boring any longer.

You started comparing her to other woman and other wives
Men your wife should never have to live in the shadow of another woman’s breasts or thighs or bum or tummy. She should never have to live in the shadow of another wife’s cooking or cleaning or mothering style. God didn’t intend for her to be torn down that way. In the Bible Solomon compared his wife to everything but another woman. Song of Songs 4 ” How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead.
Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn.”
Solomon compared his wife to God’s creation in nature. He didn’t compare her to another woman. And he found her imperfections perfect. Your wife feels when she is compared to another woman even if you don’t say it. What woman will want to surrender her body willingly to her husband sexually when she knows she is not the most beautiful woman in the world to him even with her imperfections. Notice her. Love her. She will feel the difference when she is no longer referenced to anyone else.

Start today making these small changes and notice the difference in your marriage.